The Power of Imperfection
This morning we had the honor of speaking with Linda Ryden, director of the Peace of Mind program and curriculum, which teaches mindfulness and conflict resolution to elementary schoolers and educators in DC. This was the interview I’d been most looking forward to because I found other interview clips of Linda’s online to be extremely interesting and relevant to my life. The interview completely met and surpassed my expectations in so many ways. Not only did she offer many new perspectives that I hadn’t encountered in her online interviews, but she led us in two different mindfulness practices and offered us advice and hope about our futures. Her deputy director Ashely also joined us for the interview, and I thoroughly enjoyed hearing a second, equally fascinating perspective on all of the questions we had for Linda.
One of the first main points that we received from both Ashley and Linda is that they are seeing a rise in the expectation for perfection in young people. Linda commented on how much schools have changed and shared that when she was in school she never once had the idea that she needed to be perfect—it just never occurred to her. She spoke a lot about how it is counterproductive for schools to be so much more focused on academic success than social-emotional learning. It’s more important to become a good human being than to have perfect grades.
I had asked our interviewees how they think we can create a space for people to feel safe because right now our world feels divided and unaccepting of imperfections and mistakes. The main insight I received from their answer was that there is no getting it wrong, and you can’t be afraid to make mistakes because everybody does, and nobody has it all figured out. They explained that we are so hard on others because we are hard on ourselves, and we can’t forgive others if we can’t forgive ourselves. So the first step to create an accepting culture is accepting ourselves. Linda and Ashley also emphasized the power of kindness: “The more you are kind to yourself, the more good you can do in the world.” I love this response because I’m very hard on myself and often feel that I don’t have time to take care of myself. Really, though, you’ll make a bigger difference if you take care of yourself too.
My main takeaways from the interview were the sheer power of love and compassion and the importance of treating both yourself and others with grace and letting go of expectations for perfection, but there is so much more I learned from these two amazing leaders that I will take with me.
-Rosemary Konviser
People Really Can “Come Back”
This morning we interviewed Linda Ryden and an unexpected guest, her deputy director of Peace of Mind, Ashley Brown. The interview was extremely interesting. I really loved their thoughts on mindfulness and their answers to the questions we asked. When I heard that Ashley was coming to the interview, I assumed that she would mostly sit quietly with Linda, but she gave insightful answers to our questions, and she was really interesting. When asked about perfectionism, Ashley recommended that we “slow down,” because “it’s not that serious.” I really liked what she said because I often put myself down for not being perfect, and it affects how I think about myself. I want to keep in mind what Ashely said and really slow down to recognize that nobody is perfect, but you can still be a good person.
I also really liked what they said about people who do horrible crimes, that although we think they are bad people, we often don’t think about what led to them doing these crimes: “You can come back from something by being offered love.” People really can “come back” by being loved. This is a new concept for many people, but it can definitely make someone feel really good. I can apply it to my life and give people love no matter who they are, since I have no idea what they have been through. Near the end of the interview, Ashley made a similar point: “Love for me is not something you have to do to be treated a certain way.” I find this thought amazing, as it opens a door for me to apply to my life so that I and other people around me can feel loved the way that people should feel loved.
-Mateo Borrego
You Need to Experience Mindfulness to Teach Mindfulness
This morning we interviewed Linda Ryden and Ashley Brown, the director and deputy director of. Peace of Mind, which teaches students mindfulness in school.
Going into this interview, I knew I was going to enjoy it, as we had researched their work, and Shannon and Chelsea had talked about how sweet of a person Linda is. One idea from the interview that resonated with me is the idea that “You have time.” Growing up in our culture, I am constantly hearing that I need to use my high school years to “get everything together,” apply to colleges, and hopefully get accepted. I felt reassured when Linda and Ashley said that there is more to your life than school and how you do in school. In fact, they said that it is more important that you become a good human being. It’s important that you have love for others and yourself in your heart. Ashley also said, “Slow down; it’s not that serious,” which made me feel better about the speed at which I am taking things in school. It’s important to slow down and really take everything in.
We discussed how to teach mindfulness to kids, but we also delved into the topic of how to work on mindfulness with adults. One thing that Linda said that struck me as insightful is that “You need to experience mindfulness to teach mindfulness.” I think this is brilliant because I think that teaching mindfulness is much easier and more effective for teachers if they understand what their students are experiencing and learning.
Linda and Ashley are both super sweet and kind, and I thoroughly enjoyed learning about mindfulness from them. In a short amount of time, I learned a lot of valuable lessons that I am excited to put to good use.
-Cora Kayne
Just Like Me
Linda’s answer to one of the first questions we asked was, “the kinder you are to yourself, the more good you can do.” I chuckled quietly to myself when she said this because this is an answer to a question I intended to ask later: “Personally, I find it much easier to be kind to others than to myself. I struggle to give myself the same grace and time to make mistakes. What advice do you have for those of us who find it difficult to manage feelings of guilt or not being” “perfect”—especially when we know that some things are simply out of our control.”
Throughout the rest of the interview, both Linda and her deputy director, Ashley Brown, kept coming back to the idea of self-love, self-compassion and personal practice as necessary to be the kind of person you want to be. By the time we got to my question, its importance had been well-established, so asking my question and admitting how difficult it is for me to practice self-compassion, made me feel all the more vulnerable. It’s a personal issue, and given the context of the interview, admitting this vulnerability out loud became quite emotional for me. I felt exposed and nervous—my legs were shaking a bit—but Linda responded beautifully and asked if we would like to take part in a “Just Like Me” meditation that she learned from Ruth B. King. I encourage everyone to look into this practice.
The idea is to think of someone you might not know well and repeat in your head some just like me statements: “This person wants to be happy, just like me. This person makes mistakes, just like me,” etc. People got different things out of the practice, but it allowed me to find compassion for myself and my own humanness by offering compassion to someone else and their humanness. This may seem a simple idea, but at the moment it feels revolutionary. For a while I’ve struggled with guilt and achieving self-compassion, but I have been unable to work on them effectively. It seems that the solution to the struggle over self-care is … self-care. Linda gave me a starting point for moving forward by giving me a way to practice self-compassion that feels both doable and comfortable. It’s a small practice that I think has the potential to create big changes in my life, and I will forever be grateful for Linda and Ashley for giving me this starting point.
-Lucy Yen
Our Grades Do Not Make Us Who We Are
Today was our first interview of the week, with Director Linda and Deputy Director Ashley of Peace of Mind. Although it’s our first interview, I think it might turn out to be my favorite, besides our interview with Ray Saurez tomorrow.
I really “vibed” with them because of their presence in the interview. I have a very personal connection to some of the ideas that they discussed, as I struggle with ADHD in the classroom, and I often put a lot of pressure on myself as a result.
When they were asked the question, “What do you think is the most important lesson children should learn at a young age, both academically and personally?” I was surprised that they downplayed the importance of academics. I assumed that they would say something about developing strategies for staying on top of your work, but instead they said that it is more important to learn kindness towards ourselves when it comes to education and to understand that our grades do not make us who we are. Their answers forced me to face the fact that I often think that my worth as a person depends on my grades. What I love most about this interview is that they described mindfulness skills and practices to help us remain focused on what is important.
Although I have been nervous about these interviews, both Linda and Ashley gave positive and hopeful responses that make me very excited for the coming interviews. I hope all our interviews are just as interactive and fun!
-Lennon Smith
You must be logged in to post a comment.